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Week 5: A bead of perspiration rolled from my temple down across my cheek. Or was it a tear? Why won't she love me is my last thought as my head hits the open bottom drawer. Dizziness overwhelmed and scared me, and I knew, this is not normal.
Week 6: Smoke filled the room like a cloudy day. No I realize with head spinning, everything is blurry. I cry out in pain... disbelief is mixed with tears, I hear mothers mocking laughter. Why did this just happen? What could be so evil to deserve such harsh consequences? Everyone in the kitchen is just standing there, no one moves to help, take a stand, comfort and protect a little girl? Condem the mother/wife for what she has just done?
Alone in confusion, hurt to the core, in the gut for the first time that can be remembered, too young to process the combination of all that is happening. It comes to me, move. Escape. It is then she realizes that there is no escape. There will never be. Never.
Slumped back toward the kitchen, alone, heading toward my bedroom and all of the stuffed animal friends who love me.
Week 7: A door slammed and someone ran down the stairs in an obvious hurry! Waking with a jolt, must have fallen asleep. What time ... just after midnight. Another party in the basement and I hate that my bedroom door is just steps from the bar and party downstairs, and the only bathroom in the house.
Too afraid to ever sleep with my door closed, these get-togethers are always a restless night for me. It is unnerving when a drunkard enters my bedroom, wobbling, stinking of smoke, trying to adjust their eyes to the darkness.
Laying quietly, eyes open only a slit in case I need to somehow protect myself, surrounded by fourteen stuffed animals, frozen waiting for them to realize they missed the room to the toilet. Why doesn't my mother and step-father realize how awful their parties are to me, a scar on the spirit of my childhood.
Orange light? Not really flashing, but I am too young to think of another word. The flikering leads me into the kitchen, something on the stove is on fire! The last thing I remember is a gutteral sound ... did it come from me?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
I LEFT MY BLACK CLOUD AT 7-11
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| Future Lottery Winner T-shirt |
Walked into the 7-11 for the second time this "Monday", up to the counter where the woman who checked me out suddenly realized who I was. Just a quickly, I saw her palm my lottery ticket, which to my lack of surprise, was all scratched off. With the ticket, she grabbed up some trash and asked if she could help me as she was throwing away the pile.
Telling her the situation, she said that she had put it aside however had just cleaned up and it must have been thrown into the trash. She offered me another ticket or to pay me for it. At this point it became a matter of principle.
"No, I want the ticket that I paid for thank you." She stuttered, and repeated, as did I, adding that she could look in the trash or I would be happy to, cause logic would say that no one in their right mind would throw away a lottery ticket that had not been scratched off!
She quickly walked to the trash and opened the top as she proceeded to again palm my ticket, I just knew it was mine - that's all - so I
Suddenly, the ticket slipped and again hidden just a quickly into the empty cigarette cartons that she was holding within her hands. Letting her know that I saw the ticket, pointing it out telling her that this belongs to me. In return, her response was that it was from a different customer who brought it in to claim the prize. I asked for the manager. To my amazement, the assistant manager (am) was standing right there, gawking, definably out of his element, eyes like a dear in the headlights as this woman (looked like early 20's) proceeded to try to pull him into the situation by saying, "you remember that I just cleaned right?". Carefully, I withdrew the used ticket from between the boxes.
When asked, the am refused to give the managers telephone number, rather, he gave me the telephone number to the store that was printed on a receipt and told me she would be in Tuesday (which is now today) between 6 and 2. Thankfully, the telephone number to the corporate office was also printed on the piece of paper. Commenting that I would like for the store tape to be reviewed and that I was going to contact the police department, I was told to get a report. Okay, out to my car and cell phone I travel, as the woman literally begins to babble even faster!
Called information for the non-emergency police department telephone number that was then dialed through for me. There was a full list of questions to be answered, including, "are there any weapons involved?" No ma'am, however I do have a conceled weapons permit and there is a gun in my vehicle that I have no plans on using, never mind even the thought of looking at it!
Knowing this information had just increased the value of our conversation, and the questions took a slight turn.
Looking back, I now realize why 3 officers showed up so fast, in 3 different police cars while I was making my report to the 7-11 corporate office. Note: During this telephone conversation, I explained that I had contacted the police department and asked that they have a representative too.
Needless to say, the officers were much more interested in my car console than any report to begin with. OMG, they were scaring me! Moving slowy, with permission, and explaining each move, I opened the back door to retrieve my wallet as I am verbally guided though each motion. I notice a hand on his weapon carefully monitoring. My hands became of special interest to me, as I was certain to keep them in plain view. He is running my liscenses.
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| Fast Car Choker - A Keepers Jackpot |
I bet you think it couldn't get more interesting ...
So, we are standing there as I tell my story to one of the officers while the other two go into the store. A woman pulls into a parking spot and begins to get out of a Jaguar, her car alarm goes off. She did not realize it was her car until the officer with me motioned to her. As she went into the store I noticed that the tag on her shirt was hanging out, or her shirt was on inside out ... turned out to be the latter. The next car to pull into the spot is a corvet and we comment.
While the officer and I are chit chatting, I am told that two managers have come to the store. One is running a register, the alleged thief is off to the side talking on her cell phone, and the other manager with two of the officers are in the store office beginning to review the store video tapes as three people approach cautiously.
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| Jungle Animals Newsboy Hat Toddler - Little Andalucia |
They have moved away from me, and his presence is replaced by one of the other officers who has come from the store office. He tells me that they must run the numbers on the ticket past the Florida lottery system to confirm it was the one that I had purchased. Later, one of the officers reappears and states that the ticket is not mine.
We chit chat. After 22 years in the line of duty, I wonder if he has seen it all. Kids. Dysfunctional people, raising dysfunctional people, who then continue raising the dysfunctional..., church, family, then he kinda jumps as he hollers and waves to my left.
Someone pulling out of the expensive car parking space is looking backward while backing up. Apparently miscaculating, the front drivers side of her car crashes into the rear passanger side of the car next to her. By this time, two officers are outside with me, waiting. One asks the other, and he calls it in to the department.
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| Lemon Cream Cheese Cake Felted Soap - Rainy Day Art |
Hours later, the lead officer on the case (if there even is one) calls me at home. Turns out I was ticket owner! Between rechecking via the Florida lottery and the video tapes which shows her scratching the ticket off, then letting someone she knows cash it in to give her the money. Someone from the company will be in contact and the woman is going to be loosing her job. Do I want to continue and press charges, afterall, turns out the ticket was only a $1 winner? ... the cost of the ticket itself. It will be a misdemeanor offense, most noted to me, a lot of paperwork.
Since, both the lead police officer and area manager have called and left messages for me. The main point is that they would rather that I do not press charges against the wonam. My husband agrees. I struggle because of this.
Do future employers, family, friends, neighbors, have the right to know?
Maybe she babysits? (I have had two rip me, one of them big time however slow it all happened)
Will she have learned a lesson, or will this just be a blip on her radar screen?
It is not likely that I am her only victum?
Question: Like the TV show, "What Would You Do?
Want your Social Security early?
More people are refusing to wait until 65, opting for reduced benefits right away. Are they ahead of the curve or just hurting themselves?
The number of Americans opting to take Social Security at 62 -- currently the youngest age allowed -- is on the rise. In 2009, 42% of 62-year-olds claimed benefits, up from 38% in 2007, according to economists at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C.
Afraid that lawmakers will soon raise the retirement age of Social Security or shrink benefits, many are ignoring the traditional advice of financial planners and retirement experts everywhere and taking their benefits as soon as possible.
Advisers say the average pre-retiree typically underestimates the impact of taking benefits early. For example, a top earner retiring at 62 would get $1,803 a month. By waiting until 66, he'd increase that amount to $2,442, and delaying until 70 would bump the monthly payment to $3,256, according to Rande Spiegelman, the vice president of financial planning at the Schwab Center for Financial Research. Another way to look at it: People who take Social Security at 66 rather than at 62 will collect more money over time, provided they live to at least age 77.
If you are reading this, you may also be interested in the following ...
The number of Americans opting to take Social Security at 62 -- currently the youngest age allowed -- is on the rise. In 2009, 42% of 62-year-olds claimed benefits, up from 38% in 2007, according to economists at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C.
(click on photo for more on this topic)
Afraid that lawmakers will soon raise the retirement age of Social Security or shrink benefits, many are ignoring the traditional advice of financial planners and retirement experts everywhere and taking their benefits as soon as possible.
Advisers say the average pre-retiree typically underestimates the impact of taking benefits early. For example, a top earner retiring at 62 would get $1,803 a month. By waiting until 66, he'd increase that amount to $2,442, and delaying until 70 would bump the monthly payment to $3,256, according to Rande Spiegelman, the vice president of financial planning at the Schwab Center for Financial Research. Another way to look at it: People who take Social Security at 66 rather than at 62 will collect more money over time, provided they live to at least age 77.
If you are reading this, you may also be interested in the following ...
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